We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
