I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
