that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
