I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just googled if crying burns calories
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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