i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
