I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i think i have herpe
just one?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
