i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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