haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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