i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Randomize
