i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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