I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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