the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
