Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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