we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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