your thong is hanging out like whoa
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
