i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
