I didn't shave. On purpose
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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