if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
