I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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