If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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