I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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