Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
