big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
