Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Congratulations! We have a period
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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