Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
