just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
