i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
