No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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