I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
