According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
