real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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