Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
