he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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