I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
