I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
