Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
