i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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