I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
