Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
