Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
