On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He felt like a one man threesome
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
