lets start a swedish sibling band together
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
