his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
