she was so not down for the gang bang
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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