i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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