playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
