xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
