singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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