Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
