Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
