I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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