Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
